My life lessons learned

How much for the pussy in the window?

"One uterus costs at least one million dollars.  Sperm is a dime a dozen."        If that's really true, then why are women giving it away for free?

        Many women complain about noncommittal men.  Women have resulted in name calling and men bashing because men haven't followed the female script.  Women tend to want a good time during the marriage and men tend to want a good time before the marriage.   I've heard many sista's scream, "That bastard ain't no good!"  I've been asked how do I put up with the "no good bastards" in my life?  My response is the same.  I don't date "no good bastards".  I date the good "brothas".   I've never dated a man that I'd consider a low life.  To me, that is too much negative energy to start a relationship with.  Women will date a man for frivolous reasons and expect him to give more than he's getting.  I've met and currently know  plenty of women who've dated men because they have pretty eyes, wavy hair, nice muscular body, expensive possessions, and many other  materialistic reasons.  But when he in turn treats her with a shallow attitude, she creates war.  "How dare that bastard go out to the club without me!  I'll get revenge by hanging around his best friend who has a crush on me."

      I don't like it when women complain that the guy won't call her back after she had sex with him.  She doesn't seem to realize he might not have called her back anyway if she didn't have sex with him.  Why give away your dignity and pride in hopes that he will stick around?   I was raised by my father with my 3 older brothers and they all say the same thing.  If a guy really wants a women, nothing will stop him from going after her.   He won't require sex from her but he will really desire sex from her.   There's the difference women can't comprehend. 

      "If we have sex, that means he wants to have a long lasting relationship with me, right?"  Women are mislead by the messages sent by men.   But in turn, women play the same bait and switch game.   We have become a microwave society.  We want everything right now.  We'll meet a nice person today and want to walk down the aisle tomorrow.   Women will have sex with a guy hours after meeting him, hoping he understands what that means.  Guess what ladies?  The fellas don't know what you mean.  He thinks you dig him, he digs you, let's have fun tonight.  He has no thought about tomorrow without further discussion.  She has already picked out her bridesmaids dresses as soon as the lights go out for the night.

      Ladies please stop giving away what you can't afford to lose.  We can't afford to assume what he wants and what he is willing to give.   If he doesn't want you longer than one night, don't trick him into a relationship with the promise of imaginative, unusual, and constant sex.   Don't settle for a playa if you don't want one.  "But, I'll be lonely without a man" is the female cry.   Trust me, if that's the only reason why you are in your current relationship, he'll regret being with you and try any way to get out of it.  You'll resent each other and begin to spite each other because that'll be the only satisfaction you get out of the relationship.

      I'm currently single and have been celibate since my last relationship.    I've been called a "cock blocker" many times before because I don't advocate having sex outside a committed relationship.  I pose the same question to many people.  Wouldn't you want to have fantastic, spontaneous, freaky, enjoyable sex with one person any day, every day or good sex once or twice a year with people you most likely aren't going to see again?   

      "But she won't have freaky sex with me like a stranger will" is usually his complaint.  But, that's not really true.  Women will do the craziest things for men.  If she is willing to do outrageous, insane things that a man thinks only will happen on a one night stand, what do you think she will do if she really knew what pleased you?   Some women do feel more comfortable experimenting with a stranger in preparation for her committed relationship because the fear of seeing that stranger again is lowered.   Other women do it to convince that man he should stick around for more.  Women need to feel free to express herself in her relationship.  The greater the security she feels, the better the chances her freak will come out.  If she feels you may stray, her security goes down the drain with her dignity.  If she feels bad about herself, you ain't getting none.

How's your relationship working out?                   

Arranged marriages

I'd love to find the perfect husband. Not the most perfect man in the world, just perfect for me. But, for that to happen I need to find him. How will I find him? Where is he?

I would have to interview many men for this position. A part of the 'husband test' would be written and the 2nd part oral. I'd have many questions for him.

Do you want to be married? Do you want kids? Do you want to be an home owner? Do you like pets? Are you a very planned and structured person or are you spontaneous? Do you like weekend vacations or week - long vacations? Would you mind if I made more money than you? Are you a very emotional person? Are you a materialistic person?

Then the oral part of the test would include different situations of what I call, 'what if'?

What if you wanted boy babies and you only got girl babies? What would you do if you saw someone verbally attacking your friend or family member? What if your valuables were stolen with no clue as to who took them, how would you solve the problem? Have you ever been cheated on and what happened?

I've told all men that have had an interest in me that I'm looking for a husband. I'm not looking for a boyfriend anymore. I've been celibate for years now because I'm still looking for him. A male co-worker told me never tell a guy that I am looking for a husband. Because then you'll turn him off. My response to that is, "PERFECT! That scratches him off the list." I don't want to waste time talking to someone that doesn't want marriage. I don't have a problem making male friends. I have plenty. I want an husband. I don't want any really old guy. I don't want the guy who brags about having a lot of money. I don't want the guy who brags about having a "big penis". I don't want the guy who blames the white man for all his problems. I don't want a playa or the brotha with a lot of babies by different women. I don't want a brotha I have to train or teach him how to be respectful. I don't want a man who thinks he can change and/or train me.

YES, I have a checklist of items for my perfect man. But, I think my checklist is a little different from the regular one. The regular female checklist has him at six feet, handsome, yearly wage over $60,000, owning real estate and expensive cars.

The top of my list is a question, 'How much of a liar is he?' When does he find it appropriate to lie is huge to me. I don't care if he's a jerk in public, if he's an asshole to his co-workers, and his family can't trust him. Will he lie to me? So what, he told his mother he worked an 18 hour shift while he was at home sleep. What did he tell me? I found out that men don't put much priority on little white lies. To me, little lies are as bad as big lies. Who did you lie to? Was it me? So what, you only have female friends. So what, if women sexually tease you by taking their tops off in front of you. Did you tell me about it?  The answer better be yes.

If you get to know me, you'd realize I don't follow trends or traditions. I had ex-boyfriends with lots of female friends. I knew a lot of those female friends. He would come to my house and tell me what happened the night before with his female friends at the strip club. We'd both laugh. He'd tell me about the 2 women who sandwiched him in a dance. (Thats why he was so horny and had to leave the club early to see me). I had an ex-boyfriend tell me, "OK babe, this is the playoffs this weekend and the Redskins play on monday. I 'll talk to ya on tuesday." That was fine with me. I grew up in an house with my father and 3 brothers. I know how important sports are. I know when he says he wants to go out with his friends and party, he'll do just that. I have full trust in my man. Just don't lie to me. Don't say you'll be at your moms house and you're out with the boys. So what, you're out with you're boys. Have fun. I know I'm going have fun with my girls when we go out.

I think more people should have arranged marriages. Not arranged by your aunt and your mom. I met some of the crack-heads my mom liked for me, not pretty. I mean the couple themselves should arrange the marriage more than trying to arrange the wedding. What if something bad happens? How will you handle it? Many people say they wouldn't know how they'd handle something that might not happen. That's not true for me. I handle things with my man the same way I handle things in life. What if someone yells at me? Including my man? I'd calmly ask questions as I always do. What's the problem you have with me? How do you want me to solve the problem? Why do you think I'm the blame for this situation? How would you solve the problem? If my man was the kind of person who only liked to argue and not solve the problem, he wouldn't be my man for long. .....NEXT!

I've seen people jump into relationships because no one thought past the infatuation. Gee, I didn't know he was a slob. Gee, I didn't know he was a momma's boy. Gee, I didn't know you wanted to stop working all together. Gee, I didn't know you were going to still be a couch potato. Damn, I thought we would make love more than once a month since we were married.

Who arranged your relationship? Would you fire that person if you knew then what you know now?

Where have all the good men gone?

Another blogger commented that women don't know how to recognize a good man if we saw one.  I admit, this is true.  It's  now hard to recognize a good man.  WHAT MAKES A GOOD MAN?   Many have their opinions on what makes a good man.

We can recognize a lazy bum, dirty bastard, and lying cheat from a mile away.  But the thing is, we date that nut anyway.  Women figure, since I'm not going to find a good man, I'll  mold and change what I got.

You know why we can't find and recognize a good man?  Because he doesn't advertise.  All the bums and no good slime balls advertise.  Have you noticed that the nice looking guy who has his stuff together,  keep quiet and take care of himself and won't bring attention to himself?  Secondly, have you noticed that the drunk, loud, rude, sexaholic, extrovert will approach you every time?

Women will notice the cute quiet guy, but the loud dance machine will immediately tell you the quiet guy is gay.  "Oh that pussy! You know he's gay!"

Well now we are confused.  Wouldn't a man know another man better than a woman?  We take the word of the jerk.  Now, we think that quiet, neat and introverted means gay.  Well we don't want a gay man.  We want a real man, right?  The loud guy is the only guy approaching me.   A short while later, the loud guy's  exciting personality turns sour.  His adventure turns lazy.  His clothes become more torn and tattered.  His job gets lost and his new address is your old one.

How can we recognize the good guy?  For years, we've taken the word of the bad boy.  We passed this info on to the next generation.  Young girls want the rich guy right now for fun and then settle down with the bad boy for life.   But, it never seems to work out.  WHY? 

Women complain that the bum on their couch is a lazy good for nothing money hungry pig.   That was known about him in the beginning, but was he supposed to stay that way?

Men complain that women pass them by if they wear a suit and tie.  They feel they are unwanted if they are a gentleman.  I've been asked,"Why do I need to curse and raise my hand to a woman for her to like or love me?"

Many women have blinders on when it comes to a good man.  Many women can come up with many ideas of what makes a good man.  My idea of a good man is a man that makes me feel like I'm the only thing on this earth that matters.   It wouldn't matter how many naked women stood before him, he'd give me the confidence that I'm the only woman he sees.  He would trust me and he'd earn trust one thousand times over.  Truth telling between us would be 2nd nature.  There wouldn't be a need to question him.  He'd confide in me without hesitation and I wouldn't have any fear in opening my heart to him.  It would always be he and I against the world.  It would never be me against him.

HOW DO YOU RECOGNIZE A GOOD MAN?