My life lessons learned

How do I find motivation?

Many people have the same question about motivation.  How do I get some?  I have goals and tasks I would like to get accomplished, but why can't I seem to get in the mood to do them?  I want to clean my messy house, but the only time I have available is the weekend and I want to rest on that day.

I don't know if I'm lazy or crazy because my list of to do stuff gets longer.  The longer the list, the more stressed out I feel and the more I want to run away from my list.

How do I get started?  One side of my brain says I want to get these things done and the other side of my brain talks me out of it.

I heard it on a talk show years ago that you don't find motivation, you find action.

I use to read books, watch motivational speakers, and listen to my elders to find that nugget of wisdom that would shock my system into action.  I would start a task, then quit midway through because I found it tedious, boring, or time consuming.  I use to hate check writing the day I put my paycheck in the bank.  It seemed like so much to do at one time.  I then started to put off writing checks for bills when I clearly had the funds to cover the bill.  Then the bill would be paid late or not at all which lowered my FICO score.  It took me a long time to put 2 + 2 together.  I then destressed the situation.  Instead of writing 10 to 15 checks for those bills, I'd write 1 or 2 checks a day.  At one point, I mailed bills every day of the week.  It seemed like a minor inconvenience compared to my previous method.  

Lesson learned:

• Don't wait for inspiration, do something, anything.  1% done is more than nothing done

How to treat a woman and how to treat a man?

How to treat a woman:

   Wine her.
   Dine her.
   Call her.
   Hold her.
   Surprise her.
   Compliment her.
   Smile at her.
   Listen to her.
   Laugh with her.
   Cry with her.
   Romance her.
   Encourage her.
   Believe in her.
   Pray with her.
   Pray for her.
   Cuddle with her.
   Shop with her.
   Give her jewelry.
   Buy her flowers.
   Hold her hand.
   Write love letters to her.
   Go to the ends of the earth and back again for her.

  

   How To Treat a Man:

     Show up naked.
     Bring chicken wings.
     Don't block the TV.

     
      
(borrowed from unknown source on the net)

Am I worthy of love?

    I have talked to many women over the years and we've discussed the subject of depression.  The subject of depression is more prevalent in the news, talk shows and common group discussions.

    My depression usually forms from self hatred because of a recent failure of a task or goal.  But the women I've talked to, especially those women related to me, explains that their depression formed from a feeling of not being worthy of anything better than their current situation. 

    I pondered the question of "How do you convince someone that they are worthy of more?"  I couldn't come up with an answer other than remembering the comment made by a black Princeton professor.   This professor was in a round table discussion about the state of black youth.  The question put forth to this professor was, "How do we show black youth that they are worthy of more in life other than being a drug dealer, rapper or basketball player?"  His answer was, "The way we show the young is by example."

How would you convince people they are worth the love, respect, money, shelter, support and happiness they deserve?

Don't I have the right to be angry?

I heard two great quotes and decided to string them together to make my point.

"Anger inspires ideas of defeating a problem, but despair only inspires ideas of your defeat."

I've met many angry people who unleashed their hatred on any available person in the room without apology or sympathy. Their defense is a common one: "Don't I have the right to be angry!?"

Anger has its place and it has reason. But, the misuse of anger has stunted many individuals and created more problems than it solved. Anger is one of our many necessary emotions that create our spiritual being from a physical being. The use of our emotions makes us a "whole person." The reason for getting angry is to point out what we perceive as wrong, things that makes us upset, mistakes and injustice. We get angry at these things because we want them corrected. Therefore, in our anger we create a plan or ideas in which we can correct an evil.

As we have seen in life, many people hold in their anger, unleash their anger on innocent children, or address another issue other than the one that makes them angry. This creates confusion for many people. "Why are you yelling at me about my blue sweater when you're mad at the dog barking?"

Many people will say I can't yell back at my boss because he's making me angry. So my question is, "Why yell at me when it's your boss that crossed you?" You can address a person without yelling at them. Anger doesn't equal violence or screaming. Anger is that feeling you get from a given situation. It's like laughing at something you like. Anger shows that you have a dislike for it. Use your anger in the correct manner. Don't hold in your anger or dismiss it. It's there for a purpose. Use it wisely. If your neighbors barking dog makes you angry, don't shoot the dog. Address your neighbor with your complaint and take any necessary legal action if the problem isn't solved.

Despair has its place also. Despair is the emotion that creates warning for your spiritual being. Many people don't recognize when they have fallen into a deep depression. Depressed people will question their physical aches, mental distress, and longing for many hours of sleep. But, they still can't diagnose their depression. The feeling of dispair brings drastic mood swings from hopelessness down further to total destruction.

Many people misdiagnose their feeling of despair for the poison of pessimism. The emotion is a temporary acknowledgement of a current situation, but many people mistake it a lifestyle change.

What do you think?